FYI

So I was talking to a couple men in my office today and their questions prompted me to write another entry here. You can thank them later.

Ahem. Ok gentlemen,

A woman never wants to hear she looks anything other than pretty. When I was a teenager, I was at a beach party and a less-than socially adept guy looked at me and said “You know Casey, you’re not very cute when you’re wet.” I wanted to say “Well, you’re not cute when you’re dry so out of the two of us, I’d say I’m luckier.” But I refrained.

This brings me back to the point. Don’t ever look at a girl and say “You look tired”. In fact, to stay on the safe side of things, don’t ever use an un-flattering adjective when describing a woman’s appearance. You may get your eyes scratched. But, if you’re daring and know for a fact that that woman is feeling less than perfect (let’s say you just saw her vomit on her shoes or she’s just used a tissue to wipe the tear-induced mascara streaks from under her eyes), you may say something like “you’re not looking your best. . . Do you need me to do anything?” A follow-up question showing your concern for her welfare is the only way you can say something like that safely.

So, as a recap- you cannot use the following adjectives: sick, angry, swollen, sad, obtuse, vapid, mental, upset, wretched, mousy, feeble, plastered, drugged, plain, pale, pregnant, sea-sick, bored, comatose, scared, green, or any of their variations unless you’re brave or stupid.