Leftovers?

This morning, I opened the office fridge which is always a dangerous and brave feat in itself. There is always a jar of health drink, half eaten yogurts, dried carrot sticks, various and sundry spills, and a Tupperware from December toting something that has sprouted life and is heaving with a raspy breath of doom. Today provided a new surprise.

When we’re working late nights on our games, the company kindly provides us with dinners. Monday was one such evening. We were given sub sandwiches, pickles, cookies, and chips. Not all of the sandwiches were eaten that night so the large platter was covered and placed in the fridge for lunches. Yesterday, I noticed a couple sandwiches left and thought nothing of it. Today however, under the plastic lid, lie a single open hoagie roll with a shriveled tomato slice, withered lettuce leaf, and mayo. The meat and cheese were gone.

Let me paint the scenario:

One of the men paid by Disney for their impressive ability to create video games for children went into the kitchen last night. He thought to himself. “I’m hungry” and went to the fridge. “Aha!” he says to himself. “A Three day old sandwich, perfect!” He pulled out the 2 foot in diameter tray carrying the single sandwich from the fridge and opened it. He pulled out the sandwich and opted to forego the healthy vegetables and the carb-ridden roll so he carefully took out the meat and cheese. He wadded the handful of protein with one hand and shoved it into his mouth then placed the remnants back onto the tray and gingerly placed it back into the fridge. As he closed the door, he wiped his mayonnaise covered hand on his jeans and smiled to himself, pleased with his midnight snack.

Really? I thought the “Survival of the fittest” thing would’ve had him eaten by superiors a long time ago.

A few years ago, one of my young friends asked my pal and I about dating ladies. We mulled it over and came up with a list. We emailed him this list and he was married shortly afterwards. He recently put the list on his Facebook page and made me wax nostalgic. So I thought I'd make it a bit more public. Even though the list was geared towards a 21 year old young man about 7 years ago, it still applies. Enjoy.

Joseph,

Here is the list that we have compiled so far. Enjoy, and don't get too stressed out about it.

1. Never let a girl walk to her car alone (especially at night).
2. Call her up just to say hello.
3. If you think of a compliment, say it.
4. Every once in a while, give her flowers for no reason. Wildflowers, daisies, and tulips are best.
5. When walking on the sidewalk, you walk closest to the street.
6. Open doors for her
7. Don't talk about money or debt. It makes a girl feel uncomfortable.(Especially when you are sitting in a nice restaurant)
8. Ask her questions about herself and actually listen to her responses
9. When going on a date, NEVER say, "Well, what do you want to do?" Always have a few ideas in mind and let her choose if you really don't know what to do.
10. Be yourself.
11. Don't tell her that you will call her, unless you plan on it. There’s no rule that says you have to say, "I'll call you." If you don't think you'll actually call, don't say it.
12. Try to remember things that she says. It is flattering when a guy remembers something that you've said before.
13. Don't talk about ex-girlfriends, past dates that you've had, or any other girl.
14. Look her in the eye when you are talking, and SMILE.
15. You don't have to spend a lot of money to impress a girl. Every once in a while is nice, though.
16. Compliment her in front of other people. Always make her look good (don't pick on her in front of others).
17. Did we mention to smile enough? You have a great one, flaunt it.
18. If you're sitting at your pad (or a party or wherever that this may be possible), offer to get her a drink.
19. She'll probably dote on you too. Show appreciation for what she does; don't take it for granted.
20. When you say you'll call and mean it (see #11), make sure and do so within the next couple of days. Women over analyze things and if you don't call within 3 days, she's going to start thinking you're not interested.
21. Know or learn how to dance. If you ever end up in a situation where there's dancing, she's going to want you to ask her . . . It's the whole "You're proud to be seen with her" thing.
22. If she's coming out of a high vehicle or off a stage etc, take her hand to help her down.
23. When you do start kissing (stop blushing, it will happen), show respect and don't man handle . . . Women love gentle kisses, not sloppy or too hard (especially in the beginning).
24. Find out what some of her passions or hobbies are and try to work them into a date (does she like art? Take her to a museum . . . Play the piano?Take her to a concert (of the orchestra type)). While you're there, ask her opinion and learn from her.
25. If it's your passion or hobby, take her and tell her about it . . .She'll love that you're sharing something you appreciate with her.
26. If you feel so inclined, women love poetry or song lyrics . . . Maybe you could write some for her. She'll blush up a storm but will keep it forever.
27. Make her a CD of some of your favorite music. Again, she'll love that you're sharing some of yourself with her.
28. Try to do something other than the movies for the first few dates.They're all right once you're in a relationship but don't allow for a lot of "getting to know you" time for the beginning of a relationship.
29. Don't talk about your weight in front of a girl. She will start to think that you are hinting around that she is fat.
30. Treat her with respect in private as well as public places. She will be watching to see how you treat her.
31. Get to know her roommates or family. They have a lot of influence on her, whether she realizes it or not. If they say you are a jerk, you are a jerk.

There you go pumpkin. We may add more from time to time. Feel free to ask us any questions about this list. Love you like a rock!

Martha & Casey

Slacker

What a slacker. . . Slack slack slackin’ through life. It’s not that I haven’t had anything happen to me since the last post. I have- a lot actually. Since January, I’ve had my hair done a few times, written and storyboarded a few things, designed and built a set for a play, bought too many clothes, even more shoes, developed a fondness for certain types of sushi, dressed up as Julie McCoy, played a game show host, performed on stage a few times, was filmed by a camera crew while wearing an ugly outfit, kept my dog alive, drooled in California, went to Disneyland yet again, hit the beach, wished to hit the beach more, watched a guy in a mullet and Star Trek uniform walking around the movie theater three weeks after the movie opened, suffered through the crap Monsters vs. Aliens movie and swore to burn down Dreamworks, bought more reusable “green” grocery bags, blew bubbles at the drive-in, moved offices, bought a kooky lamp, sang several duets in the office with the only other person who knows show tunes in a video game company, got hit on by a truck full of eighteen year olds who subsequently got pulled over by the cops, rode dirty on Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, drank a mint julep, got a crush on a Wal-Mart employee (I’m finding the most random excuses to go there. . . Weird!), drank my weight in Diet Coke, became a Maid of Honor, got the emissions done on my car, planned a few trips for the future and committed to start a most serious diet tomorrow for said trips.

Now that may seem impressive but there are still so many things I haven’t done since January (some are things I’ve NEVER done!). I haven’t learned Greek, been to Europe and subsequently enjoyed the various and sundry entertainments or food or men to be enjoyed while in Europe, learned the haka, cooked something gourmet, sang opera (unless you count jibberish opera onstage), met my new Hollywood crush (Mr. Spock on the new Star Trek is as tasty as an alien can get - and I’ve seen many aliens in my day. ET had a face only a mother could love and Chewie? Well, I’ll just leave it at that), jumped on a trampoline, swam 4 laps in any type pool, been on an elliptical machine, talked like Doris Day, watched a film starring Parker Posey, bought anything made of actual gold, tripped in front of a crowd of 50 or more, been to a book signing, eaten hot Chee-tos, sewn a potholder, tiptoed through tulips, or been vaccinated.

So obviously I’m not as accomplished as I may appear. In fact, I’ve got tons to do. Why the heck am I wasting time here?!

FYI

So I was talking to a couple men in my office today and their questions prompted me to write another entry here. You can thank them later.

Ahem. Ok gentlemen,

A woman never wants to hear she looks anything other than pretty. When I was a teenager, I was at a beach party and a less-than socially adept guy looked at me and said “You know Casey, you’re not very cute when you’re wet.” I wanted to say “Well, you’re not cute when you’re dry so out of the two of us, I’d say I’m luckier.” But I refrained.

This brings me back to the point. Don’t ever look at a girl and say “You look tired”. In fact, to stay on the safe side of things, don’t ever use an un-flattering adjective when describing a woman’s appearance. You may get your eyes scratched. But, if you’re daring and know for a fact that that woman is feeling less than perfect (let’s say you just saw her vomit on her shoes or she’s just used a tissue to wipe the tear-induced mascara streaks from under her eyes), you may say something like “you’re not looking your best. . . Do you need me to do anything?” A follow-up question showing your concern for her welfare is the only way you can say something like that safely.

So, as a recap- you cannot use the following adjectives: sick, angry, swollen, sad, obtuse, vapid, mental, upset, wretched, mousy, feeble, plastered, drugged, plain, pale, pregnant, sea-sick, bored, comatose, scared, green, or any of their variations unless you’re brave or stupid.

Disney tips.

I’m recuperating from yet another Disney adventure. This one was with two new people, both men (I know, good job Casey!). Yes, it’s like trip number 37 (and yes, the skies were filled with ash, the sun was red, the moon was orange and it felt apocalyptic) but each time I go with someone new, I have new experiences and we try to mix it up a bit. Because of this, I’ll try to imbue you with some of our mix-it up ideas as well as share in some of our adventures:

Get reservations for lunch at the Blue Bayou several weeks in advance 1-714-781-3463. When you eat there, ask for a seat near the water and share a Monte Cristo. It’s huge. Be aware that any meal there is the cost of a semester’s tuition at Yale.

Ride the Indiana Jones ride in the back row, standing on the angled floor. Of course you’re buckled in, but you’re whipped about considerably more than when you’re just sitting in front. This is good for a hearty laugh and some fabulous back-cracking whiplash.

Don’t leave your hat in Space Mountain.

Lean forward and face your ride partner on Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. It feels more like “The wildest ride in the wilderness” this way. This is of course, if you’ve already been on it several times. If you do it your first time, you’ll miss out on the dynamite-eating goat and the view of the park from the top.

Although the classic Haunted Mansion is fabulous, make it a point to see it all Nightmare Before Christmas-y before you die. Your trip to heaven is guaranteed if you do.

When heading to Fantasyland, use the route behind Big Thunder Mtn. It’s usually less traffic-y, there’s a good chance of seeing a character walking about, and you’ll definitely see a couple making out.

The turkey legs taste like ham. Watch out. Make sure you drink plenty of liquids afterwards.

If you drop your wallet in New Orleans Square, make sure an honest person picks it up and hands it to a Disneyland employee. Hug the employee that returns it.

If you’re leaving a note for someone who’ll be in the park the next day, don’t leave it in the back of the furthest recipe book in the stack. Apparently, recipe books are a popular item.

Take advantage of the people watching opportunities. Give each other assignments during your day. We had some great assignments and found every one of the following:
- A couple wearing matching outfits
- Three pairs of striped socks
- A family of six or more
- Girls who thought they were cuter than everyone else
- A couple who you can’t even fathom would be a couple
- Someone wearing 3 cowboy-ish things
- Three boys wearing girl pants
- A cross-dresser
These are just examples. You are welcome to go further and crazier. We were fortunate enough to get additional gems like Superman, rock-a-billies, and the Grand Master of the Toy Story Mania ride.

Do the Monkee walk in the large open area in California Adventure that is no longer displaying Whoopi Goldberg’s head.

Get some soup in a sourdough bread bowl in California Adventure. It’ll make you forget the hotdogs and hamburgers you were forced to eat at Disneyland as a child.

Talk nice to the ride attendants and make friends with employees. You get nicer treatment and get to ride the Matterhorn first after a repair.

When riding the Matterhorn, sit alone (unless you really really want to be holding onto someone for fear of the Abominable Snowman) and cross your legs. Apparently I like to be whipped around in the rides.

If soot and ash are raining down on Disneyland, be sure to NOT wear flip flops. Otherwise your feet WILL be completely black by the end of the day.

Be sure to lean over while eating a churro so that sugar doesn’t end up down your shirt. Shake the churro twice after each bite.

While going up the hill at the beginning of Space Mtn. lean your head back and rest it on the car to get a fantastic, spacey ride. Just be sure to pick your head up as you start down the first hill or you will end up with a goose egg.

Always ask for the top row of Soarin’.

Make a stranger sit in the first 2 seats of Splash Mtn. If not, bring a change of clothes. They’ve added more water to the ride.

Make sure you bring aspirin, plastic baggies, and baby powder (chaffing is an issue after Splash Mountain and Grizzly Rapids).

Be sure to ride the Finding Nemo Submarine Ride in the early morning when the air in the sub will be fresh. Otherwise, it smells like bus.

Make the most ADD person in your group get the fast passes.

Hmm. I’ve got to get back to work so I’ll have to add more at another time. In the meanwhile, memorize this list.

Christmas Time Time

So, I'm like in New York City and yes, I allow you to be jealous. It's 8 am in the Big Apple and I just scarfed down some fruit and caffeine free Diet Coke (my sister hates reading labels. . . I'll have to go pick up the fully leaded stuff at lunch I suppose) while watching a parade of school busses stroll down 49th Street. Not a bad life, I must say.

This blessed break from reality chases the heels of months of torture- overtime. Overtime in the game industry isn't a suprise, it's expected. . . Like dental visits, taxes, or if you're lucky - jury duty. (I just got THAT blessed notice a couple weeks ago. So I'm to expect my jury servece sometime between October and December. Lucky me.) I digress.

Yesterday, my sister and I just walked the streets of New York City and I sucked it all in, the buildings, the people, the flower markets, the sickening smells of garbage, honking, outdoor dining, business suits and taxis everywhere. I must say, I don't mind the business suits at all. . . Quite delish in fact. I found myself humming a lot.

So, whenever my friends and I would see a hot man, we'd think to ourselves "Self, what a great gift my eyes just received for that brief moment when they were blessed with a vision of handsome-ness. It's like a holiday. A great one in fact" and in lieu of saying that mouthfull, we'd just say outloud "Merry Christmas!" to alert each other of the prescence of beauty in the nearby vicinity. This "Merry Christmas" has since been replaced with "Christmas Time Time!", to a jaunty tune made up by my nephew when he was four (for a great time, you should listen to his riviting rendition of "Dinosaur Saur"). Anyway, there are a lot of "Christmas Time Time"'s in New York City, it made for a fabulous walk about town. You should try it, people look at you funny when you burst into song. Good times. Good times.

So Old-fashioned, I know.

Ok, since I last checked into the mother ship, I’ve done quite a few things. I spent some time with my family at a beach house in Neskowin, Oregon where we made a most stellar sand castle, I dove into the barely above freezing water to be a good big sister, and walked a ton. Since then, I’ve spent just about every waking moment at work, pulling crazy 80+ hour weeks. . . Oddly enough, and I’ve actually had time for dates this week. Ok, one and a half. The other will be happening tomorrow.

And herein lies the beef.

I just want to put this out there. You see, I’ve dated for over half my life and yes, the protocol has changed, I recognize that. Now, the guy doesn’t have to come into my living room to meet my dad before he takes me to miniature golf and milkshakes. In fact, if it’s a first date, I don’t usually even let him pick me up. We meet somewhere public (especially if it’s a blind date) just for safty. Now, I don’t receive a phone call on Wednesday asking me out for Friday. Instead, I get a text message on Monday asking me out on Tuesday. When did Tuesday become a date night? It’s fine, I’m cool like that.

Not that I mind texts. They’re fun for the occasional flirt and “Be there in 5 min” kind of thing. But when a guy asks for your number so he can text you? C’mon. The word “telephone” means “transmitting speech sounds over a distance”, not “avoiding actual contact with a person before it’s absolutely necessary”. (On a side note, this 87 emails before you meet when you live 15 minutes away thing is ridiculous. You’ve built this huge thing up in your mind only to meet a totally un-stellar, perfectly normal, one-pant leg at a time person sitting across from you at the booth at Denny’s.)

But am I so archaic in my thought process here? When a guy asks me out on Tuesday for a date on Friday, am I wrong in assuming he’ll have some sort of plan? I’ve had some dates who had every moment planned out. They even offered to order for me at a restaurant with food I couldn’t pronounce. That was kind of cool. I felt very taken care of. I’ve also had dates who didn’t have a plan cemented in stone, but have several options thought out and that was great. They gave me choices, obviously keeping in mind that I had an opinion too. But the ones who pick me up and say “where do you want to go?” just make me want to belt them in the gut. . . Especially when they’ve had several days to think about it.

Girls like to know they’re on someone’s mind and that’s evident if you start the date with some sort of plan. . . . ESPECIALLY THE FIRST DATE! Show that you have some backbone man! Take her to a place you really like and know so that you feel comfortable there! Don’t expect her to make all the decisions! Do you know how long it took her to choose that top and those shoes that you’re probably not even noticing in the first place?

Holy freakin’ cow.