Misse Beverly Dout

So my friend Martha and I were IMing and talking about a guy I had been interested in who recently mentioned his girlfriend to me. I IMed something like “his loss” and she typed back “Yeah, he misse dout”.

From that mistype sprang an effusion of imagination. We decided that his girlfriend’s name was indeed Misse Dout and we came up with her bio. I’ll share some choice moments.

That's hilarious. Misse Beverly Dout. . . And she has red hair.
AND LOTS AND LOTS OF FRECKLES
HER HAIR IS UNRULY, KINKY, NOT CURLY
Yeah, and she's got poo colored eyes.
YEAH, AND SHE ALWAYS WEARS EMERALD GREEN BECAUSE IN SOME TIME SPACE CONTINUUM, SOMEONE TOLD HER REDHEADS NEED TO WEAR EMERALD GREEN/JEWEL TONES.
And she wears really light blue jeans a la 1995
YES! AND SHE FOLDS THE BOTTOMS AND WEARS WHITE KEDS THAT SHE BLEACHES EVERY SATURDAY
And has a weird laugh. Not cute, just weird.
YEAH, NOT ONE YOU CAN GET USED TO.
It takes you off guard and she laughs at inopportune and awkward times.
YOU JUMP OUT OF YOUR CHAIR BECAUSE SHE CACKLES WHEN THINGS ARE TOO QUIET FOR HER. HAVE YOU SEEN HER NOSE?
Not only freckly but huge! And all red and swollen because of allergies. She's allergic to his deodorant.
BUT SHE WON'T TELL HIM BECAUSE SHE IS AFRAID HE WILL LEAVE HER JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHERS
Yeah. She also won't ever let him in her room because of her Cabbage Patch Doll collection.
AND HER BARBIE DOLL HOUSE
And the rainbow kite hanging from the ceiling.
AND HER WEAVING LOOM. SHE IS MAKING HIM A RAG POTHOLDER FOR CHRISTMAS
With his initials.
YES, SHE WON THE WEAVING LOOM CHAMPIONSHIP IN 4TH GRADE
She still has the ribbon up on her vanity next to her photograph she took with Kirk Cameron during a "Left Behind" DVD signing.
YEAH, AND SHE KNOWS THE DVD WORD FOR WORD
Yep. She watches that and the He Man movie in tandem every Saturday.
WHILE HER KEDS ARE BLEACHING
Yes, during her weaving time.
SHE OWNS STOCK IN HOBBY LOBBY AND ROBERTS CRAFT
She's already made her wedding dress and practices writing her name in her diary with a lock and a unicorn on the cover.
IS SHE HYPHENATING?
She's practicing both versions. Still deciding.
IF I HAD A LAST NAME LIKE DOUT- I WOULD DEFINITELY HYPHENATE LOL. I DON'T HATE HER COMPLETELY. JUST DON'T MAKE ME HANG OUT WITH HER
ever
SHE USES HAND SANITIZER LIKE LOTION
She always smells sterile.
And names her plants.
EUNICE AND BEATRICE DOUT. SHE GIVES THEM HER LAST NAME
Don't forget Fergie Dout
Named after Princess Sarah
OH, YEAH, FERGIE IS NEW. SHE IS OBSESSED WITH BRITISH ROYALTY
She's made their action figures out of Barbie and Ken dolls.
SHE TRAVELED TO BRITAIN ONCE AND JUST HUNG OUT OUTSIDE OF BUCKINGHAM PALACE. WITH HER BAD TEETH PEOPLE THOUGHT SHE WAS A LOCAL
She bought a royal guard hat at Epcot and wore it on her trip.
ALONG WITH HER PRINCE HARRY T-SHIRT THAT SHE MADE WITH T-SHIRT IRON ONS AND TRIED TO SELL ON EBAY, BUT NO ONE WAS THAT INTERESTED IN HARRY. THEY WANTED WILLIAM
True. She has a William purse.
BUT SHE HAS A THING FOR REDHEADS SINCE SHE IS ONE. AND SHE DRIVES A BEAT UP GEO PRISM IN PURPLE BUT THE PASSENGER DOOR IS GREEN
With a Garfield in the back window and her license plate says "ETURNL"
WITH A LICENSE PLATE FRAME THAT READS: "RULDS2?"
She's part of the Wednesday night sewing club
YES SHE LIKES TO BE INVOLVED
She's also making a recipe book just so she can get her recipes out.
AGAIN- THE ONLY ONE CONTRIBUTING
She's very proud of her "Angel-ed eggs" which are really deviled eggs but she changed the name.
SHE DOESN'T PLAN TO MOVE OUT OF HER PARENTS HOUSE UNTIL SHE MOVES IN TO HER HUSBAND'S
She has all the names of her six children picked out and written inside the cover of "Emma"
AND SHE MAKES "BETTER THAN SEX CAKE" BUT SHE DOESN'T DARE CALL IT THAT. SHE HAS TO SPELL IT OUT IN A WHISPER. SHE DOESN'T PLAN TO KISS BEFORE SHE MARRIES.
Better than making babies cake.
Every time he goes in for a kiss, she pulls away and then starts to sneeze bc of his deodorant again. he still hasn't caught on.
NO, HE HAS NO CLUE
HE THINKS SHE IS PLAYING HARD TO GET
Oh yeah, but he can only take a couple more nights of misnamed good food and British Royalty role playing games.
WOW- YOU HAVE MADE ME LAUGH PRETTY HARD TODAY FRIEND
Same thing! We're pretty funny.