Auctioneering is not for me.

Last weekend, I was asked to co-host a Sub for Santa-type Service auction to provide a Christmas for some local families. Of course I was going to do it, it’s a wonderful cause!
So, in preparation for the festivities, we made sure that all 300 attendees were engorging themselves on tons of food because food always puts people in the mood to spend money. We also decorated the place festively, and my co-host and I dressed up in what could either be described as prom outfits or as members of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. He wore a suit with a red bow tie and I wore a matching red prom dress. Needless to say, he looked crazy handsome and I was. . . Festive.

We were introduced and walked out in front of the audience. There was of course the clapping and wooting from some of our friends, but for the most part, it was Steve and Casey standing in front of a crowd of 300, asking for money. The services and items to be auctioned were crazy cool. We had everything from hot air balloon rides to a full-on eye exam complete with fancy glasses up for grabs. People were excited to bid and win these pretty awesome packages. So we’re going on, making jokes and selling off the items when one of the behind-the-scene people calls my co-host to the side for a moment and I’m left alone in front of a crowd stuffing their faces with a Thanksgiving feast.

I smiled, looked out to them and asked “Would you like some hold music?” and then proceeded to sing Whitney Houston’s “I Believe the Children are Our Future”. Yeah, I know the words, don’t judge. While my co-host was ironing out some details, I was schmoozing with the front row while belting out “Show them all the beauty they possess inside! Give them a sense of pride to make it easier. . . “

It was at that point, as I was standing in front of a large crowd while wearing a red prom dress and silver stilettos, singing Whitney Houston that I asked myself “When did this become ok? When did I throw away any sense of propriety or pride for that matter and not care about what other people thought of me?” I kept singing until my co-host came back up with me and we continued the auction.

The auction was a success and many people will have a great Christmas but I still have to shake my head at myself and laugh. Who knows what people will get me to do at a New Years’ party. . . Or Fourth of July for that matter. Throw in some fireworks, and I go crazy.