My Lecture

A friend of mine was going through some old emails when she found a note from me. I don't know if this was necessarily aimed at her, but I think it's applicable to all single people, including myself. So, I thought I'd share.

What the H are you talking about!!??? Are you dying in three days? Is someone making you join a convent? Are you going under the knife to have your face altered to make you look like Quasimodo tomorrow? Is James Browne making you be his personal assistant wherein you can only sit in his room and comb his wigs for the rest of your life? Are you moving to Lilliput to be surrounded by Lilliputians? Has Professor McGonagall changed you into a newt and forgot the counter spell? Have you just acquired an acute allergic reaction to human touch and moved into a bubble? Have you developed an overwhelming desire to only surround yourself with cats?

Those are the only reasons I can see that would keep you from getting married. Now, get your sad A out of this pit of despair you’ve just dug for yourself, brush yourself off, put a smile on and keep going. If I have to do this lecture again, you’re getting hit.